Sunday, March 19, 2017

🎼I Got a Basketball Jones 🎶

We all know I'm a political genus, but you may not know I'm a depository and repository of all things basketball, especially ACC basketball. Wanna talk some Everett Case, Frank McGuire or Vic Bubas? Does the names Dick DeVenzio, Charlie Davis, Chris Corchiani or Bruce Dalrymple ring a bell? Seen him but not sure who Mike Gminski is or why he's on the tube? Well friends you've come to the right place. So let's talk a little b-ball, pacifically this years tournament. However I will entertain questions from the galley after I'm done.

So, let's go down the list. I was very glad to see Villanova lose but not so happy they lost to a Big Ten school. I'm torn between my anti-Catholic school prejudice (not anti-Catholic generally however) and my hatred for the Big Ten. But if I had to choose I suppose I'd pick those communist bastards from Madison as opposed to Philly scumbags (Hey yoos guys, want I should stop at Geno's? Fuck you Carmine, I'll smash your fuckin' face ya fuckin' fanook. We had a fuckin' hoagie for breakfast!).

How 'bout UVA? Jaysus H. what a fiasco! We all knew the Cavaliers couldn't score but this was ridiculous. 39 points, by a Division 1 NCAA tournament caliber team? 39 POINTS! Shout out to Coach Bennett, high school coaching needs a guy like you...but not the ACC. There are no defensive coordinators in college ball. Get to scoring or get to stepping.

South Carolina had an exception second half against Steve Wojciechowski's Marquette Warriors. WoJo is one of Coach K's progenies and either him or Chris Collins at Northwestern probably have the inside track at Duke when the time comes. I like the Gamecocks. They're scrappy and they know how to finish. Plus I miss South Carolina being in the ACC, but let's not get into that, I'd be here all day (God-damn BC, Syracuse and Pitt; Swafford...YOU SUCK!).

Gonzaga looks good as hell, Xavier dangerous as hell and West Virginia tough as hell. Notre Dame Coach Mike Bret paid WVU a nice compliment after their loss, he said the Mountaineers always field MEN! I like that. Too many 'one and done' factories out there these days.

Jayhawks vs Michigan State, Lewis-ville vs Michigan, Wichita St vs UK and Carolina/Arkansas should all be barn-burners. Look for the Razorbacks to give "Ole Roy" all he can handle. The guys from that other Fayetteville (the one WITHOUT Ft. Bragg) got their scare the other day and they have a little tournament history (bad blood) with the ACC. They've beaten Duke, UNC, UVA in a good few Final Fours and regionals. They are not the least intimidated. So I look for the Heels to go down like a Kardashian on a Lakers trans-continental charter flight.

There you have it. If you don't like basketball that's ok. TMC has film festival going on celebrating MGM musicals with films like Guys and Dolls and An American in Paris and I Was A Teenage Cross-Dresser, so everybody enjoy your Sunday.


  1. OK, that does it; not one syllable in your rant about my alma mater, the Oregon Ducks.

    You and Mike Gminski, you guys probably don't even know where Oregon is, fuhgeddabout da boaf uh yuz (forget about the both of you, for those of you outside of Filth-adelphia).

    Just FYI, Hammer, Oregon has the unbeatable record of years between visits to the Final Four: 78 years and counting; they won the first one in 1939 and haven't been back since. Maybe this year that will end, hey it could happen - the Cubs won, didn't they?

  2. I really should read all the comment before I take off writing. Anyway, you are indeed correct my webfooted friend. Oregon was a MAJOR basketball powerhouse in the days of the two handed set shots.
    But to address you immediate concern that I left the Quack Attack unmentioned, for that I apologize. Oregon should waddle past Rhode Island but the big boys await. Well see and good luck.

  3. Yes, the two handed set shot was lethal, back in the day. Just like the hook shot was a major tool in Mike Gminski's game.

    Ducks looked awful vs Rhode Island. They should mop the floor with Michigan, though.

  4. What in the blue blazes is wrong with a two-handed set shot? At the moment, that's about the only way I can get the ball through the net. Not to suggest that I'm competing.

  5. Two handed set shots are perfectly fine when playing HORSE. Much like stationary silhouettes are perfectly fine when calibrating your rifle sights.

    But put things into action, you'll note that your set shot will only set up what is called a 'Spaulding Burger' in hoop lingo. And when the silhouettes start shooting back at you, your perspective tends to change as well.

  6. Ducks make it to the Final 4, after a measly little 78 year haitus.

    Now only two more wins, and I will be giddy